Stoicism

The Ancient Greek philosopher Zeno praised the virtue of Stoicism.  Stoicism is to receive windfalls and triumphs with subdued joy and to face tragedies and setbacks with muted sadness.  Advisors to the Persian king Xerxes summarized the wisdom of the ages as “This too shall pass,” advising that the impact of all positive and negative emotions, achievements, and losses are ephemeral in nature.  In Chinese, the concept of Ordinary Heart (平常心) describes a similar philosophy, advocating that the Heart should be kept rational in spite of mortal causes of excitement or anger.

For most of my youth, I practiced the polar opposite of Stoicism, the Heart of Victory and Defeat (胜负心).  I had to win competitions because I was gifted and because I worked hard.  When I did win, of course I would be proud and excited, despite my father telling me that it was only to be expected and that I should be humble.  When I didn’t win, anger would boil within me, at the myself for not trying hard enough, at the world for not giving my family enough resources, at the organizers for picking problems in my blind spots, and at my teammates for not carrying their own weight.

At some point, I began to embrace Stoicism when I realized that this philosophy leads to the best outcome.  The frustration, anger, and disappointment of defeat can drive me temporarily to try harder, but also floods my mind with neuroticism that is not healthy or productive.  The joy, arrogance, and excitement of victory generates hubris, laziness, and social friction.  Furthermore, trying too hard makes me over-train for specific tasks and these skills do not generalize well.  Also, I began to appreciate my own limitations; I may be a good 3-4 standard deviations above “average” in some areas but my ADHD means that I will always be splitting my time and efforts in a myriad ways, that means that I will not emerge champion in tournaments with competitors with z=+6 talent and single-minded focus.

Another reason is that I began to see the darkness of the world.  There are two types of darkness in the world:  The shadows that are the natural consequence of the presence of objects in a world with light, and the artificial paints coating objects with shades ranging from light gray to vantablack.  People born with silver spoons that easily acquire positions of power and wealth are shadows, they emerge naturally from the concept of property and kin selection.  Middle managers who intentionally suppress or reject talented junior individuals are dark paints; their actions do not really benefit themselves in the long run, but rather are driven by Envy generated as a byproduct of pathological and obsessive Ambition.

Third, not all success and failure depend on talent and effort, particularly when it comes to results with significant human components.  Beauty contests (a.k.a. interviews and sales) are highly subjective based on the judge’s preferences and biases.  Of course there are strategies to improve success rate, but at the end of the day, one cannot let each romantic rejection, absent job offer, or lost sales order detract of your self-worth.  Often you are worth more than your judge.

Finally, unwavering dedication to winning a fixed competition means accepting someone else’s rules and framework.  We each need to accept the vast majority of societies’ rules and laws because they are generally pretty good after generations of optimization, and because it would be too time-consuming to rebel against each imperfect rule.  But aiming to get promotions at a BigCo with the goal of eventually becoming CEO is Ambition, it means that you have accepted the system, the corporate ladder of the company.  This acceptance blinds you to the less traveled path of leading your own venture.

Sadly, entrepreneurship has become too much of a fad lately, so much so that there are legions of talented and hardworking individuals setting their life goal to be founder-CEO of a public company.  As a proxy for building real value in the world, creating and taking public a company is a good measure of success, but many of today’s “entrepreneurs” are completely agnostic and purposeless.  If chipping and packaging pet rocks can be the business model for a successful startup, then they will do it.  These founders may delude themselves into thinking that they’ll plow the profits and cash-out money into R&D or charitable causes, but deep down they know don’t care.  They have just enrolled in the latest tournament model.  Incubators and investors who over-emphasize “Market Need Finding” are exacerbating this problem.  

Stoicism is rational flexibility, not callous apathy.

Being measured in sadness at a friend’s funeral indicates acceptance of the future nonexistence of the person, and the willingness to seek camaraderie with other friends or to find solace alone.  Stoicism does not mean to forget or erase the memories with the friend, and it does not mean to delude yourself that the friend had no impact on you.  

Limiting exuberance from career success or goal achievement shows acknowledgement of potential greater purpose and calling and the bravery to move on rather than retire.  Stoicism does not mean that what you have achieved was somehow easy or minuscule, but it aims your vision forward rather than backwards.  

Though stoicism and apathy can superficially exhibit similar symptoms, they are distinct and opposite.  Rests in music appear similar to silence, but rests serve to accentuate the notes.  Those who do not try are not stoic, they are spiritually dead.  Strive to be stoic, to be the wonderfully timed quiet in the symphony of life.